none of that sissy crap

Are you tired of those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound good,
But never actually come close to reality?
Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship.

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against
The sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again.
I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

ashes to ashes

That's right. A company on the interwebs is now offering to print a photo of you out of ink they create from your ashes. Why? I say "Why not?"

Here's what you do; Buy the photo of your choice and the fine folks at inkafterlife.com will send you a one ounce vial for you to fill with the dearly departed's ashes. From there you mail it in and they place the ashes inside the ink and print a photo of your choice. They even do pets.

$50 for a black & white 8X10 and $75 for color.

up up and away

it was 500 miles up, traveling at 18,000 miles an hour, and it circled the globe every 96 minutes. It flew over the U.S. seven times a day. And the sound of its incessant beeping fascinated and disturbed the nation.
At first, nobody except its creators knew what it looked like or what it was doing. All that was clear was that the Soviet Union had ushered in a new era -- and had taken a technological leap ahead of the U.S.
The Soviets launched Sputnik, the first man-made satellite, on October 4, 1957. Forty years later, the Cold War is over, and the Russian space program frightens only its own cosmonauts. It's difficult to recapture the sense of paranoia and self-doubt that Sputnik created in the U.S., but The New York Times' coverage of that week helps a bit. If journalism is the first draft of history, this was an especially rough draft, because the Soviets released information about the satellite in limited bursts, leaving much to speculation. But the paper's stories delved into the political and military implications of the Soviet feat, while managing to convey a sense of wonder. After all, the first step into space was an achievement that transcended politics.
This special presentation of The New York Times on America Online includes articles and photos from the first week following Sputnik's launch, coverage of the U.S. response and the early days of the space race, and a directory of related websites.

You can listen to the sound of Sputnik in AU format (110K) or in RealAudio.

leave britney alone

impress your friends...............

Tearing a phonebook in half lengthwise might seem like an impossible feat of strength. Yet, the trick was commonly performed by strongmen at fairs, at the beginning of the century, along with bending iron bars, pipes and pans. However, t…

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democracy

getting ready for halloween

the 7 greatest movie monsters.

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when you wish upon..........

In the 67 years since its debut, "When You Wish Upon a Star" has been recorded by more than 100 artists and orchestras.
But the song's owner is irate about what it calls an unseemly spoof of the familiar tune, saying the dreamy classic was twisted into an anti-Semitic ballad and widely distributed as part of a comedy television program.

In a lawsuit filed Wednesday in U.S. District Court in Manhattan, music publishing house Bourne Co. aims to stop the program's distribution. The suit accuses Twentieth Century Fox Film Corp., Fox Broadcasting Co., the Cartoon Network and others of copyright infringement. It seeks unspecified damages.

The lawsuit said that in 2000, the defendants included the parody, "I Need a Jew," in an episode of the Fox television animated series "The Family Guy."
The episode, titled "When You Wish Upon a Weinstein," relied on the premise that the main character could not manage his family's finances and needed to hire a Jewish person to take care of his money, the lawsuit said.
During the episode, the main character, Peter Griffin, sings "I Need a Jew," which the lawsuit called a thinly veiled copy of the music from "When You Wish Upon a Star," accompanied by new anti-Semitic lyrics.
Fox hadn't seen the complaint as of Wednesday afternoon and had no comment, spokesman Chris Alexander said.
According to the lawsuit, Fox initially withheld the episode from distribution because of its content but eventually earned large sums of money by distributing more than 1 million copies of it to the public in various home video formats.

monkey riverdance

mayor bruises tomato

The Lord Mayor of Belfast has apologised to a council worker left with back injuries after he tried to leapfrog her during a photoshoot.

Lorraine Mallon suffered a slipped disc when Jim Rodgers' knee accidently hit her head as he attempted to vault her.
Ms Mallon had been dressed as a tomato to launch a gourmet garden event in Botanic Gardens last month.
The Ulster Unionist councillor said he attempted the act of athleticism at the request of photographers.
"I have been absolutely devastated over what has happened," he said.
"There had been three false runs and I think Lorraine thought this was just another one.

"I just caught the top of her head and unfortunately I injured her."
Mr Rodgers said he was confident he could have made the vault.
He said: "I'm very fit and look after myself, but it was just one of those unfortunate things.
"I have kept in regular contact with her and my thoughts and prayers are with her.
"I just hope now that she makes a speedy and full recovery."
Ms Mallon, who works for the arts section of Belfast City Council's development department, has been unable to return to work since the accident happened on 4 September.